Too Fast, Too Soon

You might wonder what my post will be about based on the title. It can be weight loss, growth, expansion or just about anything about getting big and wider. However, that is not the case. It has nothing to do with expansion or increment. It's all about the dexterity of my mouth to out-run my thoughts. Simply put, my mouth is faster than my thoughts. And I have noticed that this week.

As usual, I become a different person only when I am in the office. I am very calm and happy at home because home is where my heart is. Lately, "my mouth speaks what my heart feels" and this is not telling my colleagues, it is telling my bosses! No, I am not venting out my sentiments and grievances to them but I am already giving them a piece of my mind - in an assertive and yet stern manner, still doused with respect. 

I used to just say yes this and yes that even if I have to beg for extra appendages to do my work. Now, I just tell them straight that I cannot finish this or that on time or they move the deadline. I have been vocal about what I can and cannot do now because the bosses are compromising me without consulting me first or asking what other projects I have. This is the problem with people, they think of some bright ideas and I get to do the dirty work. And who else gets the credit? Of course, NOT ME. So now, forgive me if I am wrong but I believe it is my right to advise them if I can meet the deadline or not by being realistic and being in the "real world" and not somewhere else where I can warp time to their advantage. I know I should think a million times before I say something especially in the work area. I am beyond that now. I am tired. I need to speak up or forever hold my peace. 

People are just asking the impossible these days. I feel that they are pushing their staff to the limit by requesting impossible feats in short notice. I am already bugged with so many work I can barely breathe and here they come, throwing more work to me and asking me to deliver the end product in 10 minutes time. Say what?!? Unless I am the goddess Shiva (is she the one with plenty of arms?), then yes I can commit. Hello, last time I checked, I only have 2 arms, 10 fingers, 2 legs, 2 feet, 10 toes and 1 torso. For crying out loud!

Goodbye our dear Sheepy

Letting go of someone, even a pet, is so hard to do. We were not ready to say good bye to Sheepy but deep inside I knew we had to. My heart is not strong enough to face losing someone and I categorize my pets in that area too. Sheepy had to say good bye this afternoon. What's more heartbreaking was the call I got from my crying princess. My daughter has always been a strong kid. She doesn't cry in front of us. I have not seen her cry because of someone nor something. She's just steadfast unlike me. I wear my heart in my sleeve.

I know this was inevitable. The moment I saw his condition last night, I could tell it wasn't good. I tried my best to give Sheepy the comfort even for the last few hours he had. I guess it was his time. I never knew why he suddenly got ill when he was only 1 year and 2 months. He was our dear, gentle cavy.

I don't know if I did the right thing by giving my daughter pets to take care of. I was just teaching her how to be responsible to another living thing. I know that giving her company in the form of our 5 guinea pigs will make her a compassionate and responsible kid. I didn't mean to expose her to this kind of reality. I didn't want her to see the pet suffer and worse, die under her watch. I feel so hurt seeing her cry. Last night, she fell asleep crying and when I came home from work this afternoon, she was crying again and this time, all I could do was to assure her that our Sheepy is in heaven now sans the suffering. At her young age, I know it will be painful to accept that the pet you have taken cared of will one day leave. She still has to grasp the concept of life and death but I hope I did the right thing by giving her pets to love and care.

My heart is breaking right now. I just hope I will be able to console her with the fact that she gave Sheepy the best love a guinea pig could ever have.

So long Sheepy, sleep tight. We are happy that you have been a part of our lives. You will be missed.(Sheepy: May 3, 2007 - July 28, 2008)