Leaving on a Jet Plane...

I hate saying goodbye. I am not very good in hiding emotions so whenever a "farewell" has to be said, I bail out. I just can't stand the parting and all the mixed and lonely emotions which goes with it.

My brother is going home for good. He's been with me here in Dubai for the past five years. Unfortunately, the company where he was working had to fold due to the recession. All of them were laid off and he doesn't want to take another chance here again unless he goes through official employment agencies.

I feel so sad and disheartened right now. I'm just used to having him around and being there to listen to my woes no matter how insignificant they are. He helps me in the house and does some errands for us. I have to do everything on my own again now that he is leaving.

On the other hand, I am relieved because I know he'll keep my mom company and he'll take good care of her.

He'll be leaving in two days time and as early as now, I cannot bear to say goodbye. At least, for now...

Girls Talk - First Kiss

Why? Why? Why can't I say no to sis Niko on doing this? hehehe... Well, I want to be a good blogging friend and sis to her so I will commit to this month's theme. Hoping and praying my dear hubby does not read this. Oh heck, like I care! LOL! I'm sure he kissed other girls before me too ;)

Tiny beads of sweat trickles on my forehead as I type this post and sing Katy Perry's I kissed..blah...blah...blah. I try to wrack my head whether I'll wig my way out on this or not. Guess, Niko won! My take on Katy Perry's song will be "I kissed a jerk and I hate it!" LOL!!!

My first kiss was with a jerk! Who else but with my ex-bf and I won't say which one. Let's just say I am trying my best to get something out of a suppressed memory. And I'll leave it to that. ;)

Feeling Blue

I wrote this poem few days ago when I was feeling a little bummed. There's just too many things going on in my life and I can barely catch up. Anyway, this is just my way of venting out...bear with me folks :)

Feeling Blue
by Ria Cervantes

I'm feeling blue
I don't know what to do
It started this morning
But it leaves me drowning.

The perkiness is amiss
A feeling I must not dismiss
Because it dampens my spirit
I am not up to it.

I'm feeling blue
I don't know what to do
Maybe there's a cure
Not in the form I cannot endure.

Just get me out in the rut
I don't want to get stuck
I hate to feel negative
I choose to be positive.

But I'm feeling blue
I don't know what to do.
I need His saving Grace
To get me out of this maze.

I lift my weary heart
Up above in His arms
This feeling needs to depart
Because I mean no harm.

I just want to be happy
Like I always do
This feeling I call blue
Can't stay and that is true.

Backing for a While

I have been quiet for a while since I got back from my leave. Most of the time I am just zapped out and have no time and energy left to rack my head with ideas and put those thoughts into words. I remember the days when my head is filled with gazillions of thoughts that I feel it will explode if I don't write them. Now is the complete opposite of that.

My blogger screen is blank and my fingers on top of the keyboard waiting to be pounded but there's no juice to squeeze out. I guess most bloggers go through this phase as well - writer's block...in this case, blogger's block.

I think I have to step back a little and give myself some space while I regenerate. It's pretty ironic that I have to experience this few days before my "party" blog turns 1. Oh well...c'est la vie!

Out of Touch

I am not my usual self these days. Must be the weather or my weight problem which drag my spirit down or the ever increasing job-cuts that are happening in this part of the world. Well, who said Dubai is invincible?

I am sorry for not doing rounds like I always do. I am very tired by the time I get home. I don't just handle a job of one person but 3 since all the temp staff were discontinued. I run the treadmill too, I tend to my family's needs, coach my daughter in her studies, do my assignments in my class and by the time it's around 7:30 p.m., I am already poofed.

It seems like I am out of touch but I am here. I will bounce back. I just have to mind some other stuff about my life too. It's really nothing serious. I may just be going through a weird mood-swing right now. Maybe I am menopausal already? Hahaha! I just can't understand how I feel. Oh well, c'est la vie!

On Love

No one falls in love by choice,
it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance,
it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance,
it is by CHOICE

Is it? Tell me what you think...

Goodbye our dear Sheepy

Letting go of someone, even a pet, is so hard to do. We were not ready to say good bye to Sheepy but deep inside I knew we had to. My heart is not strong enough to face losing someone and I categorize my pets in that area too. Sheepy had to say good bye this afternoon. What's more heartbreaking was the call I got from my crying princess. My daughter has always been a strong kid. She doesn't cry in front of us. I have not seen her cry because of someone nor something. She's just steadfast unlike me. I wear my heart in my sleeve.

I know this was inevitable. The moment I saw his condition last night, I could tell it wasn't good. I tried my best to give Sheepy the comfort even for the last few hours he had. I guess it was his time. I never knew why he suddenly got ill when he was only 1 year and 2 months. He was our dear, gentle cavy.

I don't know if I did the right thing by giving my daughter pets to take care of. I was just teaching her how to be responsible to another living thing. I know that giving her company in the form of our 5 guinea pigs will make her a compassionate and responsible kid. I didn't mean to expose her to this kind of reality. I didn't want her to see the pet suffer and worse, die under her watch. I feel so hurt seeing her cry. Last night, she fell asleep crying and when I came home from work this afternoon, she was crying again and this time, all I could do was to assure her that our Sheepy is in heaven now sans the suffering. At her young age, I know it will be painful to accept that the pet you have taken cared of will one day leave. She still has to grasp the concept of life and death but I hope I did the right thing by giving her pets to love and care.

My heart is breaking right now. I just hope I will be able to console her with the fact that she gave Sheepy the best love a guinea pig could ever have.

So long Sheepy, sleep tight. We are happy that you have been a part of our lives. You will be missed.(Sheepy: May 3, 2007 - July 28, 2008)