The Sudden Demise Of A Well-loved Colleague

This is the first time I experienced losing a dearly loved colleague who was a father figure to all of us. It is a very sad day today as we came to know in the morning that our beloved Mr. Polly (I will call him Polly) has passed away in Karachi, Pakistan while he was on vacation leave. The painful part is that, we just saw him last Thursday in the office with his family in tow including his little grandchild whom we teased as the little Mr. Polly. It was just few days ago... We could still remember his billowy laugh, his happy face that lit up the whole place and his gentle nature. Today, he is gone forever.

He was my Polly. I was his Rolly. Together we were the rolly-polly of the department. I have known Mr. Polly for a decade now and he gave me that monicker and loved to tease me endlessly. He just knew I wouldn't mind. And honestly Mr. Polly, I never mind. It was a nice banter we had all those years. And in one moment, I no longer have Mr. Polly.

We shed some tears but I cried more in silence knowing that my "father" figure in the office is forever gone. There won't be name calling now, someone to bug for answers, no one to give me wise advice or someone to chit chat in the pantry while waiting for the water to boil. Who will call me Rolly now?

It's quite difficult  as we still go about our day to day activity. Leaving the office this afternoon was a bit painful because I have to pass his desk and turn and this time, no one to say "bye Mr. Polly" to which he would always reply, "bye Rolly!"

Today, with a heavy heart, I whispered my last goodbye, "Bye Mr. Polly" to an empty desk that still holds mementos of his existence.

Thank you for gracing our lives with your gentle presence, your light demeanor and your fatherly care and love for all of us in the office. You're not just a colleague to us Mr. Polly. You are a friend, a brother, a mentor and for me, another person I could call my father. I will miss you. I will terribly miss you Mr. Polly. Go towards the light and may you rest in peace eternally. (So sorry, I didn't get to say hi or hello in LinkedIn when you added me just last Sunday. If I had known it was the last, I could have messaged you a very, very long note...Sorry, I didn't do that because I thought, I would say hi to you when you come back from your leave...)

Sad News

I was beaming from left to right, jumping like a giddy goat and so high with my brush with John Travolta last Wednesday. Little did I know that my Thursday would be filled with very sad news.

My father-in-law has been admitted to the hospital almost a month ago due to pneumonia. However, we didn't expect that it would turn bad; that he would have so much infection in his lungs and that there would be complication with his diabetes.

He went into comatose for more than a week now and yesterday, he had a cardiac arrest. The doctor revived him but he is now being supported by a respirator.

My hubby and brother-in-law was really scheduled to come home yesterday to facilitate the process of moving him to another hospital with pulmonary specialists. I guess, that trip is meant for something else.

I am really saddened by the news. I and my daughter are on standby for the inevitable. The whole family will discuss the next possible step to take and I honestly do not want to hear what they will finally decide on. I'm not ready to say good-bye. It brings back memories of my dad's passing only mine, I didn't get to say good-bye.

Deep in my heart, I am still hoping for that miracle to happen. I have that burning hope in me that my hubby will call to say that my father-in-law is now out of coma and in full recovery. But I will lift all our worries to the Lord. Thy will be done...

Dreaming of a Happy Christmas

It's been 4 years since my dad left us to join our Creator. It's been 3 Christmases without him too and honestly, all those Christmas Days has been different. It was not as merry as how our previous Christmases had been while he was alive.

It's Christmas time again. I am feeling a vacuum inside which I don't understand. I just miss my dad. It's not the same without him.

I Miss You Dad...

There is never a day that I don't think of my dad. My dad has been gone for four years and today is the fourth year of my grieving in silence.

They said, grieving takes time. No one can actually say when someone will come out of it. It seems like he is just on a long vacation and that one day he will be back. Deep inside I know he won't and will never be. He already joined our loving Creator and I know he is now happy and free of pain.

I just miss him so much. I am still not used to the fact that he is really gone. I may be in denial up to now but it is hard to let go when you love someone so dearly. I didn't even get to say good bye to him and that hurts me so much.

Dad, I know you're looking down at us right now. I know you can see and feel what we are going through without you. I just want you to know, you are always (always and forever Tatay...) in our hearts and minds. We love you so much and one day, we will meet again in eternity.