The Balancing Act of Stress and Life

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A little stress can save your life. A lot of stress can end up killing you. How do you find the balance? Learning to control your stress can be one of the most beneficial actions you can take with your life. Every person creates their own reality with what they know, feel, think, and see. Every individual creates a different version of reality for themselves. Everyone sees the world around them in different ways. Some people see the cup as half full. They see the positive side of most situations. This mindset allows them to have many friends as they continually progress themselves to take on bigger and better challenges. Those who see the cup as half empty may need some help to break out of their current situation. 

The reality of a negative person is completely different from that of a positive individual. Any person can choose to change themselves and their reality for better or worse. Companies like HeartMath help people stay on the path of growth and enlightenment by offering tools and strategies to help people stay in a state of coherence. Coherence allows a person to accept changes in their reality without reacting with stress and disharmony.

Positive and Effective Tools for Meditation

Meditation is a great tool to help you begin controlling your thoughts and emotions. However, an inexperienced person might give up on meditation quickly. It is difficult to know whether or not the strategies are working when you have little to no experience. Thankfully there are tools that allow you to see instant feedback on your current state of being. Combining meditative techniques with these tools can help you on the path to changing your reality for the better very quickly.  

Seek Help and Discover How to Control Stress

It is well known that stress causes illness. Stress can also destroy families and create rifts in important interpersonal relationships. Every individual has a choice when it comes to dealing with stress. Many cannot see a way that they could control their stress response. Make the right choice and seek out help when you’re dealing with stress-related problems. You can enjoy life stress free; check out a company like HeartMath for more information.

The Big 4-1!

The number says it - FORTY ONE! 41! Cuarenta y uno! Quarante et un! Apatnapu't isa! Yonjuuichi! No matter how and what ever language I translate 41, it still remains as that - a big, fat 41.

I know. I keep telling everyone that age is just a number. It remains a figure in my journey in this phase of life. I am very thankful though that I will be celebrating my 41st birthday with my family and that means so much to me. What bothers me now is how my body is adapting to the years of my existence. I just posted something about my expanding girth and it happens each time I celebrate my birthday. I am seriously freaking out to see my waistline loyally following my age. There can't be any paranormal connection to that. I hope!

Well, expanding waistline is not my only concern these days. The physical manifestations of turning 41 is becoming evident too. Let's skip the girth now. Let's focus on the upper portion of my body. Well, my arms are still droopy but not as droopy as before. Thanks to the arm exercises I do. My chest is still okay, thank goodness for that. My face is plump like an inflated balloon. But I have to give it to my face though. I still don't have wrinkles considering my age. Kudos to that! But I am not spared from the age spots as they start to congregate in one area of my cheek. My crowning glory is another story. It is turning into silver! I used to have dark brown hair. Now, 1/4 of my natural hair has decided to go on mutiny. And about 1/8th of that decided to go MIA! LOL!!!

Now, for the other half of my body. My buttocks are firm but slightly lower than they used to. They used to be perky and "up there" but now, gravity has convinced by derriere to follow suit. Traitors! And as an evidence to that claim, my perfectly form-fitting jeans which happily nestles on my well-formed behind is slightly loose and slung lower than usual. Hmmm. I hope it's because my fat bum just got more toned. Otherwise, I don't even want to know how my behind will look like 10 years from now. They're probably kissing the floor!

Oh, the legs! Don't even get me started with them. I used to have lovely gams that wearing micro minis and shorts were never an issue. Well, those were the days and the present calls for more trousers and longer skirts. They're like logs! But like my face, I have to give a round of applause to my legs because they are toned and not flabby. If I could only lose more inches from them. Sigh.

Let's go to the last part I want to pick on - my feet. I thought my feet will not expand width and length-wise. I was wrong! I used to wear a size 6 shoes. Now it's 7 and I am not too happy about it. I am 5 foot flat and I look like a clown wearing big shoes. Now that's a sight I am not very comfortable with. Nothing against clowns but they do wear big shoes for the show but for me, I have to wear it to work and I look like a penguin.

I told myself I want to grow old gracefully not awkwardly. I feel like a pubescent girl, uncertain of how she has to adapt whilst aware of where she will eventually be in the cycle of life. I am not sure if my mind is really ready for the changes that will happen to me as I push 41 and onwards. I'm sure I will get used to all these. I just need to internalize the changes and accept them as part of "growing up."

And I thought I grew up already? So, what do I feel now that I am turning 41? I feel so many things. I feel grateful, happy but confused, still adapting to all that is happening and wondering how my life will be years from now.

I pray I will be given more time in the world to discover the person that I will be as I go along in this journey in life. And while I am travelling in that road, I'll take with me the many lessons and wisdom I will pick up along the way. That includes the imperfections my physical being will undertake as I show the world what being 41 does to a woman like me.

Leaving The Past And Moving Forward

Life was not difficult for me and my family while I was growing up. We had most of what good life offered. We had nannies who followed us around. We ate good food. We always had gifts under the Christmas tree and my parents were always available as hosts to events in the village or town or as sponsors to some sports team.  We enjoyed the privilege of going to private schools and universities. We wore fine and branded clothing and stuff. We frequent the malls every week. Our lifestyle was lavish and I would be a hypocrite if I said I didn't enjoy that kind of life. We thought it would last. We were wrong.

Ever since my father passed away, all that we thought would last faded away. The riches? Gone. The lavish lifestyle is no longer existent. It hurts but our lives turned upside down. We were facing life in a different angle and it wasn't very pretty to see it in a different colored spectacle. We had seen life as rosy but the view from where we are now is bleak.

To this day, I have learned to swim against the current of my life's troubled past. Most times, I feel the invisible hand pulling me downwards but I always find myself fighting back. It is hard but my resolve is to be able to stand up again and regain the legacy that my father had built for us, even for just a mere fraction of what he had established for his children.

That is why I am looking forward to 2013 because I know that this year will be a better year for my family. All the struggles we have been through for many years since my dad died will be a thing of the past because it is our moment to shine. There are still obstacles along the way but I feel we will be victorious because we are one in this effort. We are all leaving the past and moving forward because that is what my father would love to see. And God the Father will only want the best for His children.

Mid-Life Crisis and Me

I don't know why but I have this weird feeling down my gut (nope, not abdominal gas or tummy ache nor diarrhoea) that I am experiencing mid-life crisis.

I have heard this cliche and have witnessed people close to me go through this crisis. My mom, for one, went through it. So, it leaves me wondering, what is mid-life crisis anyway?

Mid-life crisis is like an emotional transition experienced by people from 40 and 60. It is that phase where people begin to take stock of their lives and question their worth and purpose. It is that time of their lives where they make adjustments to get certain fulfillment in life and purpose.

Carl Jung, the psychologist who identified this phase said that it is a normal event in a person's maturing process.

This mid-life crisis is very awkward for me. Not that I am acknowledging its presence in my life at the moment, I cannot deny the fact that I am becoming a textbook example of a person going through it. It is not easy. I have so many questions I never thought I would ask myself while I was younger. I am only few years shy of turning 40 but these thoughts in my head about what I want and where I want to be in the future are mind boggling. I still do not have the answers and do not know when and where I will find them. All I know is that, I have this doubt, fear and certain battle within me to find the real essence of my life. It is so profound and I know it also involves my spirituality.

I hope to get over this phase, if ever I am really experiencing it or my hormones are just playing tricks on me. Whatever the case may be, I shall draw my strength from my God. I know this will pass and I hope I get through this with stronger faith and belief that my Lord will see me through.

Careful, Careful, Careful

We must all be cautious with the kind of activities we engage in. One of my friend loves sand bashing using the dirt bike. She also loves doing other extreme sports. She can be very daring and careless at times so we are very concerned. We understand her desire to live life to the fullest but we also believe that it is wise not live life in reckless abandon. Nothing wrong with having fun here and there but know the limits too.

One time, one of the more vocal friend of ours voiced her opinion by suggesting a universal life insurance quotes for her to check out. Her reason was, since she loved to engage on daring activities and spiking her adrenalin, it was just a smart move to have herself covered if things turn out bad.

We got her point. Our daring friend got the message too. I wonder when she will buy an insurance though.

Re-focusing On Life's Priorities

I have been a slacker lately. Being a wee lazy is not inherent of me. I am always up and about (except for my frail immune system). My previous routine, before the addiction to Facebook started, involves waking up early, doing stretches, jogging and eating healthy breakfast. When I say healthy, that means, sunny side up cooked using olive oil, plain toasted fibre bread and steamed veggies.

It has been a while since I had that healthy and hearty breakfast prepared. My breakfast these days are mostly prepared in haste and they are fried! What happened to healthy living?

Then there's this Facebook mania going on. Prior to getting hooked on Facebook, I was just doing normal things a mother and a wife would do to her family. Facebook has taken over most of my spare time. I cannot complete anything anymore. My husband is already complaining about my addiction to the games I play in that social platform. I guess most of you will be able to relate with me. Who can resist being a "mayor, hotel heiress or a farmer" of your own town, hotel and farm? Who can say no to "millions of fake money" given by friends? Who can resist the yummy treats given by family and friends in Facebook all for free without the exorbitant price tag of a fine-dining cuisine and loaded calories? Only in Facebook! In reality, you can't even get close to that! Apart from that, playing in Facebook is stress-busting for me. Initially it was until it took over my life. It's the only place where I can get lost and forget life's worries and mundane trivialities.

I am beginning to wonder if slacking becomes me. I know it will not do me good to procrastinate. I really need to change my habits and perspective to be able to commit to my goals in life. I am not getting any younger.

So, I will lessen my Facebooking (notice how I turned that word into a verb?)for the time being. Scrap the binge-eating. Toss the excess worries where most of the time, the issues at present do not even warrant much attention. It's just me being Ria. Move more, get myself involved in activities. Meet people. Laugh more. Worry less. Just have fun. I have been serious and wayward at the same time so I think my focus should be geared to what would make my life happier and healthier.

I don't want to make promises I cannot keep. Let's just see how it goes with my re-focusing plan. It's already the 3rd month of the year and I am not even close to my goals in life.

It's about time.

Zapped to Life

I have never seen a medic using an AED in real life. I see this machine in action only in movies and TV shows. Deep inside, I would really not like to see one being used in real life because that would mean a person is down and is being zapped to life. That is quite a traumatic sight to see. I think it will leave a stigma to me for the rest of my life.

That must be one of the reasons I did not pursue medicine. I don't think I can see life and death in a more scientific way. These two will always have a spiritual meaning to me.

Daily Survival Kit

I got this from a friend's forwarded email and could not let the day pass without sharing. It's really something to note of. So, whenever you are feeling blue and a little bummed, just remember this post of mine and hopefully I can give a smile on your face.

Today, I am giving you a

DAILY SURVIVAL KIT

to help you each day............

Toothpick ... to remind you to pick the good qualities in everyone,including yourself.

Rubber band ... to remind you to be flexible. Things might not always go the way you want, but it can be worked out.

Band-Aid ... to remind you to heal hurt feelings, either yours or someone else's.

Eraser ... to remind you everyone makes mistakes. That's okay, we learn by our errors.

Candy Kiss ... to remind you everyone needs a hug or a compliment everyday.

Mint ... to remind you that you are worth a mint to your family & Me.

Bubble Gum ... to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.

Pencil ... to remind you to list your blessings every day.

Tea Bag ... to remind you to take time to relax daily and go over that list of God's blessings.

This is what makes life worth living every minute, every day

Wishing you love, gratitude, friends to cherish, caring, sharing, laughter, music, and warm feelings in your heart.

The Tweedledums

There were two friends named Dimwit and Dimtwat who lived in the Highland. These two ninnies were known for their shady characters and unpleasant behaviour. They looked down on people as if they were slaves.

One day, these two ninnies went to a posh place to get something done and Dimwit didn't get exactly what was requested so the barrage of insults and expletives flew in every corner of the place and Dimtwat followed suit. They dropped names and told everyone they were from this and that and they would call some officials because they didn't get what they wanted. They would sue the management of the place for ruining something. The slur of inappropriate words were spoken at lightning speed causing a lot of inconvenience to the other citizens.

Well, in the real world, people like them should be hung upside down. Their brains went down to their feet and need to get back to were it should be - that mid part of their head called the skull!

These are the kind of dimwits populating this society. A lot of them are expatriates who came from nothing and when they suddenly had money, they became this proverbial fly on top of the carabao. It's such a shame because they give a very bad image of their fellowmen who are not even close to being like them at all.

The Expat's Life - Part 3 "Someone noticed!"

My eyes almost popped from their sockets when a friend forwarded a mail which is quite unusual because we, the Filipinos as overseas workers, are featured by an Arab journalist which appeared in Arab News. Read this and weep:

We are finally noticed and given the respect that we truly deserve. In this part of the world, being noticed and recognized for our value is an aberration to the idiosyncrasies. At least, someone finally told the world what Filipinos are made of - determination, perseverance, hope, and integrity. Yan ang Pinoy! (That's what a Filipino is!)

Shukran Mr. Abdulla al Maghlooth for recognizing our value in the society. I hope there are more people like you who will give us what we are due.

(Please see my other entries on the Expat's Life here, and here)

Forgetfulness

I did one goof up at work which I think surpassed all the other goof ups of my colleagues. I forgot to meet up with one of the top honcho of the company. Yup! TOP LEVEL dude, as in the one who sit in the corner office overlooking the great view...that dude. I'd rather succinctly term it "missed" to meet up with him because I was "into my zone" at work in the other room and time slipped by. I was so into my zone that I almost forgot other people exists. That engrossed, I tell you.

I am a very keen person but lately, maybe due to pressure and the overwhelming tasks to do, I just tend to slip a notch. I normally remember even the minute details so I was so mortified to find out that my meeting was overdue for couple of hours already. (Note to self: bring your mobile with you and put it on alarm!)

So, what can we do to improve our memory? Here are some tips so you don't goof up like I just did =)

1. Exercise your brain

Solve puzzles, learn new things, do things out of the ordinary like brushing your teeth with your left hand if you're right handed, pay attention or concentrate/focus more

2. Tailor your learning acquisition best to your own style

Some people learn best or retain more information thru visuals while others thru auditory means. Read books if you must if you prefer seeing things, listen to audio books to enhance you brain functions.

3. Bridge information thru connections

There are information that we already know so link that extra data you have just acquired and build on it like remembering an address of a new friend who lives in the same street of a colleague.

4. Use organizational tools

Make use of your gadget's and software's' calendars, alarms, write on post-its, write on cards, write on boards - all the info you need to acquire later on like emails, special dates to remember, phone numbers, meetings!!!

5. Review and Rehearse

If you have just acquired new information, try reviewing it again and again and play it back in your mind.

6. Eat, Exercise and Live a healthy lifestyle

Nuts, tofu, carrots, green tea are samples of food you can take because they are nutrient-rich and has anti-oxidants which help in improving one's memory.

Under the Weather

I have been sneezing my guts away for the past 2 days and now I have fever and cough again. For crying out loud, what must I do to jack up my immune system? I am just sick of being sick most of the time. Do I need to change my eating habits, my lifestyle? I exercise and run like crazy on the treadmill, I eat fruits and veggies. I don't eat meat often. I certainly don't drink and smoke. I take multi-vitamins, have long rests during weekends but why do I still fall ill all the time? Sob...sob...sob...

The Ant and the Bully

This is my take on the movie "The Ant and the Bully." It's my personal perception of all the bullies in the world and the ants they step on to.

I feel sad that these bullies treat others unkindly. I mean, who gave them the authority to boss everyone around? Last time I checked, we all poop & pee, we sweat like everyone else, we pick our noses too. So, what makes these bullies special amongst the rest? Could it be their inherent dominant genes, overflowing with dominance that the need to pour it out on the poor ants is their way of releasing those?

I have been picked on many times because of my size, my being pacifist and my lack of authority in some matters. I don't akin this attribute to my being a Piscean but this is me. I hate conflicts and I definitely abhor people treating me like a dirt bag. Just because a person does not retaliate one's antagonism, that does not mean he or she is a door mat. There are other worthy ideas and activities to think of and do respectively than to succumb to these people's provocation. I'm sure a lot of you have been thrown on the side by these people at one point in your life? How did you cope?

Back to School!

The almost 3 months vacation is over! Tomorrow is the first day of my daughter in school and she's now in Grade 5. Time flies! I can't believe I have a 10 year old kid now so that must mean that I am getting really old....harharhar!

Oh well, back to the grind and that means I have to wake up earlier than usual to prep her stuff and my hubby's too. This is the time when I need a maid badly...hehehehe...

The Tongue

It's not only used for tasting food and to aid us in speaking. It is also used to "kill" one's morale when used unkindly. I do not know who said these words but let me just share them.

"There is the power of life and death in the tongue.
An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift him up
and help him get through the day."

So, speak kindly. That one destructive word, when spoken, may be the ultimate weapon to kill a man's spirit.

The Midnight Owl

The Midnight Owl
by Ria Cervantes

Alone in the forest
One summer night
I took the needed rest
And there is nary in sight.

The moon was shining
As I stared on the sky
Many thoughts are running
Was this solitude worth the try?

Hooo, hooo, came a sound
I wondered who was on the prowl
And was surprised on what I have found,
On a tree, perched the midnight owl.

Hooo, hooo, "You are alone, I see"
Said the owl to a restless me
"I want to leave my worries,"
The midnight owl nodded to agree.

"And if I may ask?" I said to him
"Why are you here?" I asked.
"I have been alone in this forest rim,"
"The peace of the silent night is mine." He added.

The midnight owl looked so content
Perched on the branch, where he was meant
I continue to lie with my own laments
As I try to comprehend where my life just went.

In the silence of the night the wise midnight owl has said
"Child, just throw worries aside
Your fears cast away like mold
Live your life with hope."

With that, the midnight owl flew.
The wisdom spoken I never knew.
Left alone in silence, I have learned
Life's great lesson from my midnight owl friend.

(photo from: http://www.birdingintaiwan.com/mountainscopsowl.htm)

Dilly-Dally

I have been contemplating for so long now about my next career step. For some reason, I always end up with no definite answer. I keep telling myself "tomorrow...tomorrow...tomorrow." It's been many, many tomorrows already and yet...

I really admire my SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) pals who have so many time on their hands to do the things they want, to care for the folks who really matter the most and to own their time. I met new friends thru the blogging community as well who are SAHMs and they seem to be pretty content with their situation and condition. It's not that I am unhappy with what's happening at present but I feel like there is more to life than a "corporate world." It's rather difficult to put into words how I feel about my career but I know what it is and unable to do something at this point.

I long to find the answer either this year or the near future. Although it will not be a hasty decision but to soul-search about this "career life" altering choice will be my concern. I need to define what truly matter at some point. I cannot keep dilly-dallying on this one. As I always tell myself, life is full of tough choices but someone's got to do it. Here's hoping I'll reach the point when I know that "this is it." I know I will be guided on this quest by His divine grace. He never let's me down and I hope that I don't let Him down too when I finally decide on my mid-CAREER crisis.

The Expat's Life - Part 2

Being an expat (short for expatriate) here is full of surprises. Some are quite pleasant but others are not. You're lucky enough if you get the good tidings but for some who are here working too hard will not agree with me when I say we are rather lucky compared to our "kababayan" (fellowmen) back home. Yes, life here is relaxed in a way with less the worry of a day to day existence back home. Most expats in this country have nice homes, own a car or two, travel extensively, earns three times as much as compared to a VP of a major company in back home, and owns more than 1 property back in their country. Although not all expats enjoy these wonderful benefits because it also depends on the kind of job you have, the company you work for and your salary scale. Most Asian expats I know are somewhere in the mid-range (earning around 6,000 to 10,000 dirhams a month) but the rest are below that. It is good if you get 3,000 dhs (dirhams - monetary unit of the UAE) as a starting salary when you're new in the country but most who do hard-labor earn a measly amount. I can't say how much per se but it's really disheartening to know that it does happen to some expats here.

Thinking of the family and friends we leave behind, the sacrifices we have to make to earn a good living and having to uproot ourselves from the country we love; it's just fair to say that we deserve the perks of life's comforts. Not only that we have to sacrifice to give our families a better future, we also bring in the "dough" to our motherland through our remittances. Our country's government even dubs us (the expats) the modern day heroes.

So, the next time you meet an expat in your own country, be happy that not only does he work for the family he left behind but he is also working for the "world."

The Expat's Life - Part 1

When I went here last 2000, there is very little information I know about it's culture, it's rich heritage, the local people, the place, the country itself. I knew about the other countries in the Middle East but not much on the place I would eventually call my second home.

I didn't, in my wildest dreams, intend to stay here. Initially, it was just a trial and error thing but I found lady luck on the corner of Street A and Street B (let’s call them that way for anonymity) in June of 2000. That was the commencement of my life as an expat.

I had culture shock during the first few months of my 'regular' stay here and eventually, as the days went by, I learned to adapt and adopt the society's norms. It was very difficult for me to adjust on the accents because this was (and still is) a melting pot of various nationalities with different accents. To top that, I had my 'supposed' interview 3 weeks after my stay and had to press the plunger because I was applying for a post that would require remarkable hearing abilities. I was so frustrated and felt like a fool. I could not get the fellow's accent at all! Nope, he was not a local, certainly not a Caucasian. Let's leave it to that. I had to watch news delivered by locals and other nationalities. The reason for that was to differentiate the way they delivered so I could catch up with their accents. I eventually succeeded and can now talk to people even with the strongest twang! My exposure in my current work place helped me a lot to develop my skills in understanding other nationalities as I handle 'pilots' in my field. Most of the pilots I meet and converse with daily are Europeans and few Asians. Having dealt with them helped me cope with the pressure of comprehending what they were actually getting across.

Next hurdle was to stave off the nagging 'homesickness' I felt (honestly, I still feel it at present in varying degrees). I had rows and rows of crying spells at night that would leave me looking like Kermit the Frog the next day. It was so painful to be away from my family having grown to a closely knit one. I had to leave my daughter for a while to my parents because my husband and I were just starting off and could not possibly afford to acquire her here. The long and painful process of obtaining her residence visa only came 2 years ago after several promotions in the office which gave way to a better pay and passing the criteria of a family status visa. I also miss my close friends back home, my support system, my 'chika' (chat mates) buddies, my office pals in DBP, my confidants, my sisters in spirit, my compadres/comadres. Oh, the days...

Living in this country is totally not an easy feat to make. An expat like me will have to constantly adjust as we all struggle to give a bright future to our family. It is a constant sacrifice, a tireless effort to strive for the best to get the best, restraining of the homesickness feeling, drowning of loneliness through other means... It's not easy. Believe me.

Although the country has many things to offer to an expat like me who wish to have a better life outside my original domicile. My husband and I are paid quite generously compared to our counterparts back home. We live a comfortable life. We have nice abodes back home. We can travel and see places we never thought we would. We meet new and interesting folks here who in a way, make our lives richer and colorful.

An expat's life is like a roller coaster ride. You feel various emotions as you go along. Your feelings peak and then drops down at lightning speed. I cannot explain why but I guess it's because we miss home so much. I don't know about the other Pinoys here but as for me, my family and my friends, we all feel that there's still no place like home. Having said that, I know the time will come when we will all go home and enjoy the fruits of our hard-earned, well-toiled, sweat-coated labour. It's just a matter of knowing when.