The Simplest Blessing

I sometimes forget how blessed I am when I feel the little nuisances of life. Complaining on the littlest discomfort is so easy because I tend to look about how I feel without considering the feelings of others.

Today is a good day to change my perspective about life's discomfort and put my place in the shoes of other people.  I just finished doing the laundry without a sweat because I used a fully automatic washing machine. So, I shouldn't be complaining, right? However, the next part was the one that I was trying to avoid given my right shoulder's painful condition and the extreme weather outside (46 degrees Celcius at 11:56 a.m.). I didn't have a choice because I wanted to maximize the hot weather so the clothes could dry fast. I opened the veranda door and the hot air filled the room instantly and I started sweating. It was like standing in front on an open oven door. That is how hot the weather is right now. And then I saw them - the workers. Right in front of our building is a steel fabricating company. I saw the workers in their dirty jumpsuit with towels on their heads working, hammering steels, driving forklifts and doing their day-to-day routine. And there I was, standing on the veranda with our living room airconditioning unit on, putting the clothes to dry in the line for only few minutes and complaining already about the hot and humid weather. My inconvenience and discomfort is so insignificant compared to their hard work and sacrifices to support themselves and their families. It is 46 degrees Celcius outside and they are working, I cannot compete with that.

I took my camera and instantly snapped them. It will always be a reminder for me to not complain and be thankful because I have it easy. This is a testament of how blessed I am and I don't have a reason to doubt it. Thank you Lord for allowing me to see this new perspective in life. And please Lord, bless those hard working labourers outside who have to endure the hot weather to earn an honest living. Bless them all and give them a break.

Mid-Life Crisis and Me

I don't know why but I have this weird feeling down my gut (nope, not abdominal gas or tummy ache nor diarrhoea) that I am experiencing mid-life crisis.

I have heard this cliche and have witnessed people close to me go through this crisis. My mom, for one, went through it. So, it leaves me wondering, what is mid-life crisis anyway?

Mid-life crisis is like an emotional transition experienced by people from 40 and 60. It is that phase where people begin to take stock of their lives and question their worth and purpose. It is that time of their lives where they make adjustments to get certain fulfillment in life and purpose.

Carl Jung, the psychologist who identified this phase said that it is a normal event in a person's maturing process.

This mid-life crisis is very awkward for me. Not that I am acknowledging its presence in my life at the moment, I cannot deny the fact that I am becoming a textbook example of a person going through it. It is not easy. I have so many questions I never thought I would ask myself while I was younger. I am only few years shy of turning 40 but these thoughts in my head about what I want and where I want to be in the future are mind boggling. I still do not have the answers and do not know when and where I will find them. All I know is that, I have this doubt, fear and certain battle within me to find the real essence of my life. It is so profound and I know it also involves my spirituality.

I hope to get over this phase, if ever I am really experiencing it or my hormones are just playing tricks on me. Whatever the case may be, I shall draw my strength from my God. I know this will pass and I hope I get through this with stronger faith and belief that my Lord will see me through.

My Spiritual Wealth

I have always believed that no material possessions I have here on earth can ever save me. I try my level best to live by that rule. I am not a goody-goody Miss Two Shoes kind of person but I try so hard not to cause any harm to others nor bad-mouth someone nor think ill thoughts. I just want to do and say the right things as far as my faith and belief are concerned. I would like to face my God during the last days of my life with a clean heart and conscience.

The tenets of my spiritual wealth includes prayers and doing good deeds to others. These are the kind of wealth which cannot be measured in terms of monetary value. It is not a simple task because I face different people with varying personalities and beliefs as mine. Most often, other's ways and habits contradict my views but I practice tolerance and respect as long as they do not question my faith. Sometimes, these people will test your patience but I just accept them as they are and pray that we gracefully accept whatever differences we have.

The worldly possessions I have here are just physical manifestations of the great blessings I receive. As my act of gratitude, I believe in the word of God and the Bible Prophecy. I digest His words like my daily bread and spread the word thru good deeds. I would like my Lord to be proud of me and when End Times come, I am ready to walk in His kingdom with all my spiritual wealth.

The Corporate Ladder - Is it Worth the Climb?

I have been working for nearly 2 decades now. I am beginning to feel the wear and tear of working donkey years in the corporate scene. These past few days have been enlightening and thought-provoking for me as I begin to unravel the realities of my career advancement. Why did I say that? Well, no matter what I do now, I can never seem to please the authorities around me. And why did I say that again? Just hear me out...

I just had an unpleasant performance review recently. I honestly thought that I had improved well in the gray areas highlighted to me by my supervisor during the last performance review. I was confident that this review would merit me a better rating. Imagine my shock when I saw my review. It was completely the opposite of my expectation. Talk about having false hopes! I will no longer go through the nitty-gritty details of the review but to cut the chase, it was not what I wanted to see if I plan to apply for a promotion or career advancement. Simply put, my chances for growth has been stumped.

So, let me get back to my question at hand, is it really worthy to climb the corporate ladder? I know many of you will surely say yes if you are driven by ambition, money, power and motivated by your bosses or for any other personal reasons. However, this is my conclusion on my view as a career woman-mom-wife who has been tied in a bondage for the last 18 years of her life in the cut-throat world we call the Office. NO. Let me say that again, NO, it is not worth the climb for me.

I just realized how blessed I am for having a stress-free life after office hours, a family and a house I can come home to, a daughter who keeps me up on my toes and a husband who still has the time to hear my woes and glee. NO, it is not worth climbing when my drive for success compromises the quality time I spend with my family. NO, it is not worth the climb when my relationship with the people who TRULY matters is affected by the demands of the work force. NO, it is not worth every money I will get if I come home to a daughter who I don't have time to nurture and guide, a husband I will be too tired to take care of, a house I can never clean because of weariness, friends I cannot see and call, activities I have to cancel and life I have to turn my back to. NO, if it means I will spend lesser quality time with the people I love and more time in a place where every dealing is superficial. NO. It is not worth it at all. So, I rescind my dream of any promotion, career growth or a shot at a managerial post because what matters to me is the quality of life I will live when I leave the corporate world. Surely, no amount of money nor company accolades can top that.

I do know that I have far exceeded my Lord's expectation by giving the very best in what I do with the sincerity of my heart. I may not get the promotion I deserve here but in HIS eyes, I am a winner.

Not Going

I have been planning for another trip to the US since last November 2009. Due to unforeseen events, I had to cancel the trip for the last quarter of 2009. Come January, 2010, we planned to travel on the 2nd week of the same month but my passport got wet so we had to postpone to a later date until I get my new passport. Now that I have my new passport and ready to go next week, my relatives in the US requested if we could postpone it again to a later date because they are going through rough times in their personal lives.

So there, I am taking heed of the signs. This is the 3rd time my US trip got cancelled and that is it. I am not going there for the meantime.

I just hope everything goes well with my relatives there.

The LORD does speak to me in many ways and various forms. I shall listen.

I Got Scared

I have been very quiet lately. I was just in that gray corner of my world because I thought I had a serious lump to deal with. I am not new to having lumps because I had one extracted from the right side of my chest when I was 18. Back then, breast cancer is never heard of so I did not have my small lump taken for biopsy. The doctor said it was a benign cyst and that was it. No explanation, nothing.

Many years have passed and my scar has healed. Lately, I noticed a bigger lump just under my right armpit or the axillary area. The lump at times would have a tingling sensation and sometimes painful. I got scared! I was flooded with bad thoughts because breast cancer or lymphomas are now very common. I had serious crying spells, sleepless nights, and dark moods.

I decided to have my armpit checked by a specialist. I had my ultrasound last Monday. I received my result the same day but have the diagnosis read yesterday. The interval between Monday and Tuesday seemed like eternity as I waited and wondered for the "what if." I prayed so hard that it was nothing serious or something I could not handle. The verdict - benign lipoma. I will talk about lipoma some other time. For now, let me just glorify our Lord for hearing my prayers.

The doctor advised me to not take any hormonal pills but to lose weight. Yes my dear family and friends, I am a fatty! So there, I have to lose weight. Probably, I will chronicle my experience as I go full-speed on my weight loss goal. I have to not for vanity sake but for my health and my family.

These past few weeks have been very, very hard on me. I am glad it is over and I have to be strict with my food intake or I am just fooling myself.

Thank you Lord for being by my side during this whole ordeal when I did not know what was happening and what would happen. Thank you so much.

My New Year's Prayer for 2009

Dear Lord,

As we come to the end of a tumultuous year of 2008, give us a shining ray of hope to welcome 2009 with faith and belief that all of the crisis the world is facing right now will come to an end.

I pray for peace amongst my brethren. I pray for prosperity for everyone. I pray that You will continue to bless us with your grace and love. Keep all of us safe from harm. Provide us the needs that You deem is enough for us. I pray for the protection of the innocent children all over the world. I pray for the healing of Mother nature. I pray for happiness of those who have already lost so much and hope for the hopeless. I pray for the indigent people. I pray for our religious and political leaders that they will be guided according to Your will. I pray for the homeless to have shelters. I pray for the rich that they may share their riches to those who are in need. I pray for the lost souls that they may find their way. Give us the strength to battle each obstacle that will come our way. Make us steadfast in our faith in Your most omnipotent power.

I believe in You Lord because You know what is best for us. I will leave all my worries with the passing of the old year and welcome 2009 with bright promises.

Thank you Lord for the year that was and for the year that will be.

Love,
Ria