Book Review - Jesus, My Father, the CIA and Me by Ian Morgan Cron

The title of the book is very captivating. So, I ordered a paper-back copy of this wonderful book of and I am amazed by how beautiful and effortlessly funny the author delivered his story from the eyes of a young boy until his adult years. 

The author’s rendition of his life with an alcoholic father and the discoveries he had about him and his very own spirituality is very poignant. I was deeply moved by the drama of his life that I felt his sadness when he related his yearning for his father’s affection and approval. I felt his confusion about the emotional detachment he got from his own father and for a young boy. That was a breaking point in his growing years. I cried with him in all his miseries and emotional turmoil only to know that in the end, he never knew how his father felt about him. I was moved by how his relationship with Christ went to oblivion because of his own fears and hurts. And I am elated to know that in the end, his life came in full circle – filling the huge gap in his heart with the love of Christ.

Ian has captured my heart with his honest and vulnerable emotions coping with an alcoholic father and fighting his own destructive self. I like how he puts his feelings in every word written on this book to share to his readers. I definitely recommend this to everyone. It is a great enlightenment to one’s inner spirituality and beliefs.


Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Fostering Relationships and Partnerships

The present time where technology has bridged the gap of people has also paved way to making everyone's circle smaller. With the introduction of various social media and networking site in the world wide web, many single or seeking partners have more options and access to meeting new people who may become their lifetime partner in the future.

Location is no longer an issue when searching for a possible partner. The internet has given many people the decision to choose where they can meet their prospective partner. The person seeking for a partner can simply type information on search fields to get a result. For example, a single person from the UK prefers to meet singles in Los Angeles, then he or she can input matchmakers Los Angeles in the search field to yield some results. Some matchmaking sites offer free services and most sites offer tight security for members. The tight security measures is a way to ensure that people who are looking for partner will not end up with a felon or an offender.

Matchmaking sites are burgeoning communities for singles and other people who are looking for a long-term relationship or even for marriage proposals. It is a good avenue to meet people with similar interests as the one who seeks partners. The matchmaking sites foster relationships and partnerships for singles who prefer to meet other people through this medium. I think it is a good option to get to know more and not being limited to the circle of people one has. It gives one the opportunity to know the person already by checking the profile of the member. It eliminates the feeling of being stuck on a blind date that is not enjoyable or the date is not the person's preference. Single people can give this a try and see for themselves. 

Private Video Scandal

I have just finished watching a TV program in our Filipino channel a while ago. The story was about a disgruntled boyfriend who uploaded his and her girlfriend's private moments. It didn't stop there. The boyfriend made the video public and was forwarded to all the girl's families and friends in Facebook. Let's just say that the video is very, very sensitive and should be for the eyes of both the involved only. Unfortunately, there is now a twist to the saying, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." In this case, "a man scorned."

I have nothing against Facebook having the option to upload photos. My concern is that, doesn't Facebook view the videos uploaded before actually letting it get published live on the site? Just a thought.

Another thing that irritates me to the core is the fact that people will do stupid things like having their "intimate moments" recorded on video. What is worse is that, the girl consented and now she filed a complaint. I understand the trauma it has brought her. Imagine looking at the faces of the people who loves and cares for you and all of a sudden it goes tainted just because of a video.

I do believe that people have the right to say no when they don't want to. Sometimes, it's just foolishness presiding over sensibility, or more so, lust over right conviction. We can always refuse such act because it is an invasion to our personal space and privacy.

I don't understand why a lot of people do this kind of thing. Makes me wonder, are there so many frustrated actors/actress out there searching for their fast ticket to fame? I would say fast all right, very fast ticket to SHAME. Tsk-tsk-tsk. Come on girls (to all the ladies out there who are contemplating of having their private moments recorded for "posterity"), be clever! If you don't want to be the subject of ridicule and shame, then say NO. It is that simple.

Modern Day Dating

I reminisce the time when I used to date (of course, I was still not married to my husband then) and get pampered silly. I didn't have too many admirers like how my sister had tons and tons of them. However, my suitors were the persistent kind. They would never take "no" for an answer. Much as I rue the fact that I had to meet them for a casual date, I must admit, I still had fun. Fun in a sense that I got to know the person more and realized that there were so much more beneath that "rough" exterior.

Dating was more of an obligation I had to meet then. I didn't find myself that interesting to be pursued. So, I preferred going out with my friends and just chilling at Greenhills or malling. My mom would often tease me for having to lock myself most of the time in my room, head under my favorite books - text books, while the rest of teens my age would party and date like crazy. I know, boring. I get so conscious when I go on one-on-one dates because I felt dorky. You see, I was never given the gift of gab. Talking to someone and trying to hold the conversation for long was such a feat.

Nowadays, dating has taken a different turn. People sometimes don't meet in person. They do it online via the Internet through the visual aid of the web cam. I wonder if the girls these days get flowers and box of chocolates from their suitors. Hmmmm?

Feeling Weird Lately

My husband and daughter are both in Manila right now for their vacation but my daughter will be staying there for a month more. I know this yearly routine of sending her off to Manila for her to bond with our families should be well-accepted by yours truly by now. But I don't know why I can't seem to get passed the stage of letting my daughter go. Every year, I just have to cry my heart out because I miss her so much. Every single year, I go through this state like a wreck! My sister even chided me, "Don't you get used to it?" My response is always the same - "NO, I don't."

This is what it feels like to be a mother I suppose. I feel that part of myself has gotten transferred to my little princess when I gave birth to her. I just want to hold on to her not realizing that she is growing up so fast for me to take it all in. A classic example is a long distance call I made this morning. I asked her if she wants to come back here in Dubai now. She replied, "Maybe YES, maybe NO." I said, "What?!? Last time I checked, you did not want to go there so what gives?" To which she replied with "Mama, let me enjoy myself here first." And that was it. I did not utter any more word because I felt a tightness in my chest. To hear her say those words kind of zapped me back to reality. I guess I am holding on too much. One day, she will be all grown up ready to take the world on her own without me to hold her little hands and guide her.

I don't know if I am exaggerating or just having my hormonal imbalance thing but I feel hurt when she said those to me. Doesn't she miss me? Does she just prefer to be with my in-laws and not me? Are they smothering her with materials things I cannot provide for? Are they buying her affection? I know these are weird questions running in my head. I am a bit jealous, I admit that. Feeling that makes me more human.

Right now, as I write this blog, my head is in a blur. I feel pain, a little resentment to some people who have no iota of an idea as to what is happening, a bit angry, insecure and a tad green with jealousy. These are all negative emotions boiling inside me. I guess I was just caught off guard when my daughter told me that. I thought I am always her super-mom, her idol, her role model, her number one. Then again, maybe not.

Bear with me folks as I figure out what's going on in this thick skull and fragile heart of mine. I feel like a tempest in a teapot about to burst any minute now. Is motherhood really this "painful?"

On Finding the Right One

I am feeling romantic these days. Hmmmm... Could it be due to our recent wedding anniversary? Or, I am just a hopeless romantic? Whatever the reasons are, I just feel like sharing this wonderful quote on finding love. However, I cannot recall where I read it and who said it so sorry if I couldn't give credit. The quote is so lovely though.

"THE KEY TO SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND."

Nice right? That's the reason why I try my level best to overlook the imperfections of my very own marriage. I know my hubby's not perfect nor close to the ideal man I had in mind then but he makes me whole. I remember when we were still dating and I discovered how different we were in many, many things. I almost backed out but those differences made us connect. We learned to accept each other as two individuals with unique tastes. Those differences made our marriage colorful. So, I'm glad I didn't marry the guy I thought was "right" for me, instead, I married the man who made my life complete.

The Other Half Of Me

I remember going out with friends on group dates while I was still available. I used to have dinner with pals and their boyfriends and being single then, I felt left out. I felt something was missing which I just could not point out because I didn't know what it was and that a part of me was not complete. However, I would go to the malls alone, eat alone in restaurants and felt the curious looks (those side glances...you just knew there were eyes on you...) of people around me. I thought there wasn't wrong being alone and able until I got married.

I got married 11 years ago and since then, my life has never been the same. I no longer view myself on a "me-me-me" situation but on a "we-we-we" basis. What I used to think of fun while I was single is not in my vocabulary anymore. I used to be independent and self-reliant. I could do things on my own without asking any guy for help. I suppose I was just too independent then. Now, being married to my husband for a long time has given me a better understanding of what co-dependency means and how two, totally different people, can actually live with each other, raise a family, have fun and do things together in a better light.

Marriage is all about that anyway, the synergy of two bodies, two minds, and two hearts. Now I know where my other half is...